A Guide to Cybersex for Men: Everything You Need to Know
By
Danny GarrettAugust 08, 202410 min readUpdated:August 21, 2024
Today, sex is no longer an activity you can only do with someone in person.
As technology has advanced, our options for sex have been opened up, and you can now enjoy all kinds of sexual activity with partners all around the world. Whether it's sexy phone calls, sending and receiving nudes, or connecting interactive sex toys, cybersex is becoming increasingly popular among practically every demographic.
While having virtual sex with strangers is one of the main appeals, cybersex is also a fantastic option for couples in long-distance relationships, as it allows you to keep being intimate and sexual even if you're separated physically.
In this guide, we've listed some of the best common methods for practicing cybersex, and we've put together some tips for both introducing the idea of cybersex to your partner and for getting it on with strangers if you're single or non-monogamous.
To help everyone stay safe, we've also gone over some of the legal implications of the practice that we feel everyone should be aware of.
What is cybersex?
Cybersex - or virtual sex - is broadly defined as being any type of sexual act or communication that is done virtually. Though the word "cybersex" might bring to mind images of someone plugging themselves into some kind of simulation, it's often a lot less futuristic than it sounds.
Sending sexual texts or nude photos, talking dirty online, and using sex toys that sync up via the internet all count as cybersex, and there are many more options - a lot of activities fall under the cybersex banner. While the number of options can make it tricky to decide what you'd like to try, it also means that there's almost certainly going to be something you'll enjoy.
As with most sexual activities, it can help to know exactly what your options are.
Types of cybersex
Take a look a few of the most common forms of cybersex - with a quick explanation of the kind of sexual experience involved.
TYPE
EXPLANATION
Sexting
Sexting is the act of sending and/or receiving sexually explicit text messages.
This can include sending sexy words, pictures, videos, or audio, and isn't limited to just traditional texts - emails and DMs on social media such as Facebook or Instagram also count.
Phone sex
Phone sex is similar to sexting but instead of sending sexy messages, you're talking on the phone while describing sexual actions.
Thanks to speaker mode, you can have phone sex hands-free, leaving both hands for you to use for whatever activity you desire.
Webcam sex
Webcam sex or camming is where, instead of using a phone to have a sexy conversation, you take things to video chat - adding a visual element.
You can use your computer and webcam or your cell phone's camera for this, and you can take part in live webcam sex, or record a video for someone.
Watching porn together
However you're communicating with your cybersex partner, you should be able to share an adult video to watch with them at the same time, which can be a big turn-on for some.
Thanks to the screen-sharing abilities of modern devices and applications, you can guarantee that one of you doesn't end up too far ahead or behind!
Chat rooms
Online chat rooms put you in contact with strangers to have cybersex through messages, webcams, or both.
This lets you connect with anyone from anywhere in the world, and can be useful if you'd like to hide your identity. Cybersex with strangers isn't always straightforward though - more on that later.
Sex toys with remote functionality
Some sex toys can be controlled remotely over very long distances thanks to the ability to connect to cell phones and computers. These toys can be used to physically stimulate or receive stimulation from a partner regardless of where they are in the world.
Some toys can even connect and sync up stimulation with other toys allowing for an even more intimate experience.
Online roleplay
Sexual roleplay can be done virtually through any of the mediums we've listed here, and can often be more immersive when done with strangers.
Additionally, there are online platforms and games designed specifically for online sexual roleplay where you can link up with likeminded partners.
VR/AR sex
Virtual reality devices can be used to have cybersex with real partners, porn stars, and characters through 3D videos and games.
Augmented reality versions of these videos and games place the content in these videos directly into your room, taking things a step further.
How to introduce cybersex in your relationship
If you're in a long-distance relationship (LDR), cybersex probably sounds extremely appealing. Even if you're not, it can be a fun addition to your usual sex life if your partner happens to be away from home for any reason. However, introducing something new to your relationship can be daunting, especially when sex is involved.
Take a look at some helpful tips that will introduce cybersex to a relationship.
1. Use "I" statements
One great tip whenever you're bringing something up to your partner is to use "I" statements. By focusing on your own thoughts and feelings, you're inviting your partner to listen and empathize with you without accusing them of anything or applying pressure, which is vital for effective communication in general, not just about sex.
Statements such as "I feel like cybersex would be super fun and allow us to get even closer" or even just "I would love to try out phone sex" are all much less demanding than "you should send nudes" or "we need to try webcamming".
2. Be positive
You also want to stay positive. Even if you feel like all of your needs aren't being fully met, there's no need to make your partner feel bad or like they're letting you down - as this may make it harder to sort things out.
If you're with them, chances are there are a lot of things that you like about your relationship - emphasize these things while making suggestions that you feel would make the relationship even better. Whatever you do, don't complain - this will just make your partner less receptive.
3. Emphasize the benefits
There are a whole bunch of benefits associated with engaging in cybersex with a partner, especially if you're in an LDR. Not only does it help keep you sexually and intimately connected with your partner regardless of your geographical location, but it also helps avoid the sexual frustration that can, unfortunately, be common in LDRs.
In addition to this, just because it's virtual doesn't mean it feels worse than in-person sex - with the right effort put into setting the mood and choosing the right medium, it can feel just as good. Letting your partner know about these benefits may help if they're perhaps a little apprehensive, but not against the idea.
4. Work out what you're both interested in
If your partner is interested - great! Now you need to figure out what you'd both be comfortable with trying out. There's no need to rush into anything, as this can be overwhelming. We'd recommend asking your partner what they might like to try before talking about what you'd like to do.
You might want to stick to choosing from what they've suggested for now, especially if you're comfortable with more than they are.
Some people recommend making a list in which you can write down the kinds of cybersex you both definitely want to try, what you might be up for at some point, and what you're definitely ruling out - at least for the time being. Remember, you can always edit the list if either of you changes your mind about anything.
Tips for cybersex with strangers
Having cybersex with your partner is one thing, but doing it virtually with strangers is a whole different ballgame. The biggest difference is that you'll need to spend some time actually finding a partner to engage in cybersex with, and also that these are strangers that you have no existing concept of.
Finding a cybersex partner can take time, and it can also be difficult to verify someone's identity.
There are lots of benefits though. Cybersex with strangers can feel more intimate than just masturbating alone, and it can also allow you to engage with sexual orientations, kinks, fetishes, and sexual fantasies that you can't accomplish in your day-to-day life. It can also lead to real relationships - although we wouldn't recommend going in with that goal, as most people are more interested in something casual.
Here are a few tips for getting it on virtually with strangers:
1. Always get consent
Consent is always a number one priority, and this also applies to virtual sex with strangers. Don't push someone into doing something they're uncomfortable with, don't surprise them with anything, and don't make unwanted advances. Not only can this make them extremely uncomfortable, in some cases it can also be considered a sex crime.
2. Make sure you're comfortable
You also don't need to do anything that you don't want to do. Rushing into things can be overwhelming, so take it easy at first. Furthermore, your cybersex partners need your consent as much as you need theirs, so be sure to let people know exactly what you're interested in and not interested in doing. If you feel uncomfortable at all, it's usually the best idea to just get out of there - you don't owe anybody anything.
3. Don't be too mysterious, but don't reveal too much
Knowing just how much to reveal to a stranger can be tough. You don't necessarily want to lie to them (unless you're role-playing), but you don't want to give out too much personal information. We would advise against revealing your full name, address, social security information, and credit card details - nobody needs any of that.
At first, stick to talking about interests and fantasies, and avoid showing your face. If you've been talking to someone for a while you might feel comfortable sharing your number or social media details, but be wary of how much personal info you have on there.
4. Watch out for catfishes
Just because you're not lying, that doesn't mean other people have the same idea. Strangers are unknown by definition, and people can use this to their advantage, lying about their identity and using photos or videos that are false, edited, or otherwise inaccurate to trick or manipulate people.
People sometimes catfish out of insecurity, but often have a more malicious intent - such as for scams or blackmail, generally to get money out of people. This is why not giving too much away is vital.
5. Be careful with your feelings
Developing feelings for someone can come out of nowhere, and even if you're just sexting or camming with strangers, you are not immune. Unfortunately, unless you're specifically on a cybersex dating site, most people aren't looking for love. Establish early on whether you're both just looking for sex.
Be sure to maintain just a little bit of distance until you feel like you've made a genuine trustworthy connection. Cybersex with strangers can lead to real relationships, but it's not particularly common, so make sure you apply the brakes if you feel yourself getting too attached.
6. Don't lose touch with your real life
Cybersex with strangers is a great way to blow off steam, but at the end of the day you probably won't be forming meaningful connections with most of the strangers you're doing it with. This is totally fine - just make sure not to neglect or lose touch with the relationships in your real life, as you don't want to end up upsetting friends or family by abandoning them for online strangers.
7. Find the right medium
Different mediums - by which we mean websites and formats such as text chats and video chats - have different benefits. Some are better for simple messages, some allow you to see your partner on live on video, and some allow you to just hear their voice.
Here are some of the best cybersex mediums or portals we've come across:
Best portals for cybersex
iSexyChat - random sex chat room with strangers
FetLife - online kink and fetish community
Arousr - sexting and video sex
Jerkmate - camming
Between - sexting app for couples
Skibbel - anonymous sexting (use instead of Chatroulette or Omegle)
There are plenty of great cybersex sites online, and many of them have lots of positive reviews from users. If you'd like to find one yourself, we'd suggest looking for one on a site where users can share experiences, such as Reddit.
Legal implications of cybersex
As with "real" or "actual" sex, cybersex involves laws intended to keep people safe. Cybersex crimes have similar consequences to regular sex crimes; there are various charges and penalties - including being fined, imprisoned, and put on the sex offender registry. The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act 1986 is what addresses cybersex crimes in the USA, and there are also state-specific laws.
CYBERSEX CRIME
EXPLANATION
Sexual harassment
(e.g. sharing or sending sexual content or sexually explicit messages without a person's consent to receive it, and unwanted sexual advances)
Revenge porn
(Sharing someone's explicit content with intent to harm/humiliate them)
Sextortion
(Extorting sexual/explicit acts or content using blackmail, coercion, threats, etc.)
Cyberstalking
(Digitally stalking someone to intentionally cause distress)
Grooming
(Manipulating people under the age of consent into committing sexual acts)
When taking part in cybersex, it's absolutely vital that you obtain consent from whoever you're talking to, for whatever you're doing. This includes ensuring that your sexual partners are above the age of consent, which varies by state but is always either 16, 17, or 18.
If you have any doubts about a potential partner's age, move on and find a partner whose age you can verify.
Furthermore, sometimes cybersex can turn into a situation where in-person sex acts are being digitally bought or sold, which can be a violation of sex work laws depending on the state. Staying up-to-date with laws related to sexuality is the best way to guarantee you're never doing anything illegal.
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The Complete Guide to Cyber Sex: Summary
Cybersex, when done responsibly, can be an amazing time for everyone involved. It's a great way of keeping your sex life alive over long distances, or for getting involved with others to explore kinks and activities that can be hard to set up in your real life.
Though there are risks and legal implications, don't let that put you off.
As long as you're being cautious with your personal details, and you're doing everything with consenting adults, there shouldn't be any need to worry. Just stay safe, stay responsible, and have some fun virtual sex.
Unlock new dimensions of cybersex with these expert tips
Explore these tips for creative and engaging ideas:
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Pump","id":28108308086975,"position":12,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1000,"width":1000,"src":"\/\/lynkpleasure.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/lynk-pleasure-penis-pumps-12-inch-1-75-inches-electric-endurance-pro-smart-modular-penis-pump-35377856774335.jpg?v=1721776762"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":1000,"media_type":"image","src":"\/\/lynkpleasure.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/lynk-pleasure-penis-pumps-12-inch-1-75-inches-electric-endurance-pro-smart-modular-penis-pump-35377856774335.jpg?v=1721776762","width":1000},{"alt":"Lynk Pleasure Penis Pumps Electric Endurance Pro Digital Penis Pump","id":27925758673087,"position":13,"preview_image":{"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":900,"width":900,"src":"\/\/lynkpleasure.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/lynk-pleasure-penis-pumps-9-inch-1-75-inches-electric-endurance-pro-digital-smart-modular-penis-pump-9-inch-12-inch-35200650412223.jpg?v=1721776762"},"aspect_ratio":1.0,"height":900,"media_type":"image","src":"\/\/lynkpleasure.com\/cdn\/shop\/files\/lynk-pleasure-penis-pumps-9-inch-1-75-inches-electric-endurance-pro-digital-smart-modular-penis-pump-9-inch-12-inch-35200650412223.jpg?v=1721776762","width":900}],"requires_selling_plan":false,"selling_plan_groups":[],"content":"\u003ctable class=\"dark_table\" width=\"100%\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 38.0603%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 38.0603%;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Acrylic \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e· Silicone \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e· ABS\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 50.9397%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 50.9397%;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSafety:\u003c\/strong\u003e Electric air release valve \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e· Digital air gauge\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 38.0603%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 38.0603%;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNoise\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFactor:\u003c\/strong\u003e Quiet\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 50.9397%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 50.9397%;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures: \u003c\/strong\u003eDigital display \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e·\u003c\/span\u003e Interchangeable design\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 38.0603%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 38.0603%;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eFunctions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Variable \u003c\/span\u003epower settings \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e·\u003c\/span\u003e Smart-tech exercises\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 50.9397%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 50.9397%;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eModes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Manual \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e· \u003c\/span\u003eSmart Auto Exercising\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 38.0603%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 38.0603%;\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBattery: \u003c\/strong\u003eRechargeable\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 50.9397%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 50.9397%;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eWaterproof:\u003c\/strong\u003e No\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 38.0603%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 38.0603%;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eLubricant type:\u003c\/strong\u003e Water-based \/ Silicone-based\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 50.9397%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 50.9397%;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eBest for:\u003c\/strong\u003e Improved size \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e·\u003c\/span\u003e Stamina Training \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e·\u003c\/span\u003e ED\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 38.0603%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 38.0603%;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eCylinder Length:\u003c\/strong\u003e 9 in. | 12 in.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd style=\"width: 50.9397%;\" data-mce-style=\"width: 50.9397%;\"\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eWidth:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 1.75 in. | 2 in. | 2.25 in | 2.5 in. | 3 in.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIntroducing the Electric Endurance Pro Penis Pump System: Your Gateway to Advanced Enhancement\u003c\/p\u003e\nStep into the realm of elite enhancement with the Electric Endurance Pro Penis Pump System. This system is not just a tool; it's a comprehensive solution for those committed to reaching new levels of performance and pleasure.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInnovative Nova Smart Automatic Hand Pump\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAt the heart of this system lies the \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/lynkpleasure.com\/products\/nova-handheld-digital-air-pump-controller\" title=\"Nova Smart Automatic Hand Pump\"\u003eNova Smart Automatic Hand Pump\u003c\/a\u003e, a marvel of modern engineering. This hand pump sets a new standard with its intelligent and manual pumping capabilities, ensuring a customized experience tailored to your desires.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProfessional-Grade Acrylic Pump Cylinder\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Electric Endurance Pro System includes a \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/lynkpleasure.com\/products\/acrylic-penis-pump-cylinder\" title=\"professional-grade acrylic pump cylinder\"\u003eprofessional-grade acrylic pump cylinder\u003c\/a\u003e, meticulously crafted for durability and efficiency. The cylinder's flame-polished finish is not just about aesthetics; it's a testament to the quality and care put into every component.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eErgonomically Designed for Safety and Comfort\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eYour safety and comfort are paramount. The cylinder features a flared base, a thoughtful design element that enhances both comfort and safety during use. This ensures a secure fit and an enjoyable experience, every time.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHigh-Pressure Resilience with Built-In Measuring Gauge\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThis \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/lynkpleasure.com\/collections\/penis-pumps\" title=\"penis pump\"\u003epenis pump\u003c\/a\u003e system is built to handle the most demanding situations. The cylinder is capable of withstanding high pressure, ideal for those who take their enhancement seriously. Additionally, the built-in measuring gauge is a crucial tool for tracking your progress, allowing you to see real-time results.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSeamless Integration for an Elevated Experience\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eEvery component of the Electric Endurance Pro Penis Pump System is designed to work in perfect harmony. The Nova Smart Automatic Hand Pump connects effortlessly with the acrylic cylinder, creating an efficient and powerful system that's easy to use.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eComplete System for Immediate Use\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWe understand the importance of convenience. That's why the Electric Endurance Pro System comes with everything you need to get started right away. The package includes the Nova Smart Automatic Hand Pump, the professional-grade acrylic cylinder, and all necessary connectors and hoses.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour Journey to Exceptional Enhancement Begins Here\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Electric Endurance Pro Penis Pump System is more than just a product—it's a commitment to excellence. Whether you're looking to enhance your performance, boost your confidence, or simply enjoy the journey, this system is your key to unlocking new possibilities. Embrace the future of enhancement today with the Electric Endurance Pro Penis Pump System."}
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