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10 Sexy Roleplay Ideas for Beginners

12 min read
10 Sexy Roleplay Ideas for Beginners

For anyone new to roleplay, our advice would be to remember what the term means: you're playing a role and are merely a character in a story.

Roleplay offers an excellent opportunity to explore your fantasies and bring more adventurous behaviors and activities into your sex life.

The idea of sexual role play can feel embarrassing and awkward, especially to men, so it's worth remembering that you're playing a game, and feeling a bit silly should be part of the fun as you build the heat. If you can let your inhibitions drop, you'll see how rewarding having an alter ego can be, the things they get to do and be, and the sexual favors they'll receive in return.

Why do couples introduce role-playing into their sex life?

Role-playing can be incredibly hot, fun, and immensely enlightening. It helps improve communication between partners, provides a safe segue to explore fantasies, and can introduce difficult or embarrassing activities disguised as play-acting.

For some long-term couples, it's a fun way to spice things up at home, on holiday, or on date night.

For others, it's an opportunity to get out of their everyday life and explore what sex might look like in a very different world. It's a great way to play with sex, explore each other's fantasies, and bring some fun back into the bedroom.

Digging into its many benefits, this study, Sexual Fantasies and Female Hypoactive Desire, found that fantasies activate, maintain, and awaken desire and sexual arousal, encourage orgasm, and improve the relationship with the body, amongst others.

The Basics of Roleplay

  1. Lean into confidence. Nothing is sexier than being committed to your sessions.

  2. Be prepared to look and feel awkward or silly at first. Sex can be great fun. You'll know when laughing at each other will add to the experience and when to be serious to protect your partner's feelings.

  3. If you're not confident using dirty talk, describe your actions in a quieter voice. It's a sexy way to acclimatize yourself to delivering a far naughtier dialogue.

  4. Alternatively, create a sex scene and engage in your usual sex in costume. It's an easy starter to get comfortable with new proceedings.

  5. Set limits in advance, and always have a safeword ready to stop the action.

  6. Avoid judgment.

  7. Start with the basics and build on them as your confidence grows. If something doesn't work, forget it and move on to something that does.

  8. Sexual role play is all about imagination. You don't need costumes, but they help. As you progress, your costumes can become more elaborate, but use what you already have to kick things off.


    If you're ready to start role-playing together but unsure where to start, here are ten easy options to get the ball rolling.

    1. Doctor and Patient

    Different power dynamics create quite different sexual scenarios. Patients have the utmost trust in their doctor, so they should have no problem being asked to pose naked for a full examination.

    If a doctor isn't quite your thing, how about opting for the more traditional naughty nurse? If you get a special kick out of dressing up, there's no shortage of costumes for that option.

    STEPS

    NOTES

    What to do The doctor's job is to ask leading questions about the patient's needs and deliver a very thorough examination and solution.
      What to wear Doctors: A shirt that shows off your best features, with a tie that can be used for strapping wrists together later in the sex scene.

      Patients: Your sexiest garments that contain all those troublesome areas.
      What to say

      How does it feel when I touch you here?

      Can you show me where the problem is?

      I'm sure a massage around the offending area will help with the pain.

        2. The Massage Therapist

        If you feel uncomfortable with role play at first, why not break in gently by simply giving your partner an erotic massage? It's always a treat to have someone's undivided attention while making sure you both get the 'happy ending' you're aiming for.

        STEPS

         NOTES

        What to do

        Lower the lighting, have plenty of oils and lotions to hand, and a few vibrating sex toys to add to the action.

        Start slow, build anticipation, and finish in a hot, slippery, oily mess.

          What to wear

          The massage therapist: A simple tight, white T-shirt and shorts.

          The client: Your sexiest underwear under whatever clothes will come off during the proceedings.

            What to say

            I've got a lot of stress in all kinds of muscles that I'd love you to work out.

            On a scale of 1 to 10, how good does that feel?

            You feel incredible in my hands.

              3. Student and Professor

              It shouldn't be too hard to build sexual tension with your professor—someone in a position of respect and intellectual admiration. It's another authority figure you can use to lean into their commands and obey orders.

              STEPS

               NOTES

              What to do You could be rewarding a student for excellent work, punishing them for poor work, or, as a student, trying everything you can to get your professor to raise your grades.
                What to wear Professor: Smart, professional clothing, perhaps glasses or something scholarly.

                  Student: From the most sophisticated studious types to the sluttiest of schoolgirls and geeks—match your outfits to your role-play scenario.
                    What to say I want to study every inch of you in close detail.

                    I get top marks in all kinds of activities; would you like me to show you my specialties?

                    I'm ready to take my punishment; would you like me to bend over your desk?

                      4. Pilot and Flight Attendant

                      You don't have to be on an actual airplane to explore different characters and their escapades. Perhaps a flight attendant is more your thing if you prefer power-play fantasies?

                      STEPS

                       NOTES

                      What to do

                      The plane is on autopilot; how will you spend your flight?

                      You don't have to be a passenger to join the mile-high club, so straddling in the cockpit or sneaking to a tiny bathroom could be the order of the day.

                        What to wear

                        Both: Suits, shirts, ties, and the sexiest underwear for when it all comes off.

                        What to say

                        Flying a plane is such a stressful responsibility; what can I do to help you relax?

                        Just how much thrust do we need to build to reach our destination?

                        Put the plane on autopilot; I've got something very important to show you.

                          5. First timer

                          You can pretend to relive your real-life first time or create a completely fictitious sex fantasy. Whether the first-timer retain their innocence until climax or build in confidence until they're behaving like porn stars, there are plenty of exciting turns this sex role play can take.

                          STEPS  NOTES
                          What to do Take a trip back to that awkward and innocent first time, but now, with all the confidence and experience you've developed.

                          Alternatively, imagine one partner is about to have sex for the first time, with the other attentively guiding them through their experience.
                            What to wear The first-time player may choose an innocent outfit and underwear to reflect their inexperience or make an explosive transformation from innocent to outrageous as their clothes come off, revealing the sex-hungry animal, eager to explore every which way they can as they lose their inhibitions and their virginity... again!
                              What to say Let me show you how.

                              How do you want me to behave?

                              I've never seen one of those in the flesh before. Will you show me how it works?

                                6. Plumber and Homeowner

                                It's as clichéd as the 'seducing the pizza delivery person' role-play scenario, but these old faithfuls are still popular for a good reason—they're simple to enact and based around having some cheesy fun. They allow you to be as over the top as you like, breaking down all inhibitions so it's impossible to feel uncomfortable or awkward.

                                STEPS NOTES
                                What to do Embrace a rough and ready act with a tradesman over any or all of your kitchen surfaces.
                                  What to wear Plumber: Classic jeans and white T-shirt combo—and a toolbelt, if you've got one.

                                  Homeowner: Something tight-fitting that becomes see-through when wet.
                                    What to say What else can you do with those strong hands?

                                    I'd love to find out just how good you are with that big wrench.

                                    ...and then water started spraying everywhere, just like this...

                                      7. Strangers in A Hotel

                                      To take your sexual role play up a notch, take your play away from home. Why not book a room for the night, arriving separately at the same bar, to really bring your role-play to life? Would you enjoy playing the part of a sex worker being picked up in a hotel bar? You can engage in either end of the fantasy without breaking a single law.

                                      STEPS  NOTES
                                      What to do Two strangers bond over a drink or two, flirting together until the pressure becomes too much not to take things further.
                                        What to wear Your finest outfits and sexiest underwear.
                                          What to say I've never met anyone like you before; what other secrets have you got to show me?

                                          Oh, I'm a lot less shy once you unlock my inhibitions

                                          My husband/wife allows me a free pass to have sex with strangers when I'm traveling; does yours?

                                            8. Boss and Employee

                                            BDSM is a common sex fantasy; the power dynamics between authority figures and their workers offer an easy way to build it into your role-play ideas. If your kink is hate-sex, who better to let loose on than an arrogant and obnoxious boss?

                                            STEPS NOTES
                                            What to do You may be firing out orders or working through an appraisal; whichever route, we'd expect you to bring things to a climax on top of a desk or in a makeshift stock cupboard.
                                              What to wear Standard office attire but with your hottest underwear for when the layers start to disappear.
                                                What to say You haven't been meeting your quota; what can you do for me to convince me not to let you go?

                                                Your performance has been exceptional this month; I have a special bonus for you.

                                                What lengths will you go to get the promotion that nobody else is willing to deliver?

                                                  9. The Hotel Maid or Butler

                                                  Every submissive will enjoy the opportunity to play the loyal servant, carrying out every task and whim of their employer. Whether they're attending to the needs of a royal, a politician, a famous singer, or a movie star, ensuring they're happy with your service is the ultimate goal.

                                                  STEPS NOTES
                                                  What to do Whether you add a touch of the historical to your role-playing idea, the maid or butler is there to carry out all the tasks and requests put to them.
                                                    What to wear Black and white trousers and shirt/blouse and skirt.
                                                      What to say Yes, sir, right away, sir.

                                                      Does my lady like it that way?

                                                      Actually, I prefer things 'very' dirty.

                                                        10. The Traffic Cop and the Speeder

                                                        Create different scenarios to talk your way into sex or use it to get out of a ticket; this is another of our role-play ideas you can take out of the bedroom. For those who love to make out in their cars, it's ideal, or for those who love having sex outdoors, all you have to do is say, "Would you mind stepping out of the vehicle?"

                                                        STEPS NOTES
                                                        What to do The speeder is going to try everything they can to get out of getting a ticket, and the traffic cop is going to see just how far they're willing to go to 'get off' without a charge.
                                                          What to wear The traffic cop: A blue work shirt and some dress pants will do.

                                                          The speeder: Something revealing, or thin and sexy layers that can slowly come off as the role-playing heats up.
                                                            What to say Are you always such a bad girl/boy?

                                                            I think someone needs to be taught a lesson.

                                                            Oh, officer, whatever can I do to get you to change your mind?

                                                              Explore the world of sexual intimacy and relationship with your partner

                                                              Roleplay tips for beginners

                                                              Communication is key pre-, post-, and during any sexual role play. Approaching the topic may need a sensitive touch; planning your play session needs a few clear ground rules, and unpacking what worked well and not so well for you both afterward should be standard.

                                                              Here are our pointers on each of those areas.

                                                              1. Approaching the topic of role-playing

                                                              If you're both fairly adventurous, suggesting a little roleplay shouldn't be an issue. If the idea initially feels awkward or embarrassing, you can turn the conversation towards things that turn each other on that you don't usually chat about—who would be your hall-pass celebrity, is there a scene from a book or film that turned you on, or have you a sexy dream you could re-enact?

                                                              If you're both fairly adventurous, suggesting a little roleplay shouldn't be an issue.

                                                              The simplest way is to suggest you've always wondered what role-playing feels like and ask if your partner would have the confidence to try it out.

                                                              Once you've found your way into the conversation, find a simple starting point and build slowly from there. You might try reading erotic literature together or acting out movie scenes to help get you past any early embarrassing feelings. It's a good idea to concentrate on verbal cues before moving on to setting scenes and costumes.

                                                              2. Talk to your partner about your sexual fantasies

                                                              Once your ideas start to take action, you can introduce your fantasies to your playtimes. Remember, there should be no judgment here, and fantasies are precisely that: fantasies. However out-there or politically incorrect they might be, they're just kinks to play with, not some hidden issue that requires treatment or therapy.

                                                              If any fantasies seem shocking initially, this is a great time to set boundaries, outlining what's okay and what you both feel comfortable with.

                                                              You may think your fantasies are particularly unusual, but rest assured, this study, What Exactly is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy, revealed that most sexual fantasies (around thirty options) were common within each gender, five were typical, nine were unusual, and only a couple were considered rare.

                                                              Wherever power dynamics change, or you're moving in a direction you don't want to, you need to break character and use your safe word. It's far better to take a break than enter a situation you aren't totally comfortable with.

                                                              3. Decide on the details (locations, dressing up, etc.)

                                                              So many roleplay ideas happen upfront. Having those discussions is just as essential as picking the time and place to act them out. Use your date night to discuss where and when your role-play will happen, how much you'll use costumes and props, the type of sex or control you'd like to take or submit to, and everything in between. Communication and respect will make every part of your play more fun and easier to engage in.

                                                              4. Adjust the 'kinkiness' to your comfort level

                                                              Several studies have shown (this one, Sexual Fantasizing in Males and Females, for example) that practically everyone has sexual fantasies.

                                                              Typically, women have more submission fantasies, whereas men's are more performance-based.

                                                              Once you have a clear idea of how far each other would like to go and the kinks and fantasies you'd like to explore, you need to be honest about whether your comfort levels are aligned. Finding the correct balance can translate into the more adventurous leading the play while paying close attention to their partner's security and confidence levels.

                                                              5. Set the stage

                                                              Setting the scene and getting a little turned on in advance will help things flow easier once you start roleplaying. You can do that by relaxing with a glass of wine and going over the details or creating an introduction to the action. To really build anticipation, you can start even earlier by sending provocative texts and suggestive messages leading up to the event.

                                                              Setting the scene and getting a little turned on in advance will help things flow easier once you start roleplaying.

                                                              Dressing the room to make your role-play scenario more authentic can help you lose yourselves in the moment. A few props, subdued lighting, and a few romantic touches can make all the difference.

                                                              6. Plan in advance

                                                              As well as ensuring you've got what you need to set the stage, what you'll wear, and the theme of your play session, taking care of details in advance will help navigate the obvious stumbling blocks. Draw up a list of off-limits terms and language use that are your cringe turn-offs. Also, you'll need to make sure you're not going to be disturbed for the duration of your playtime.

                                                              7. Always have a safe word

                                                              A critical aspect of roleplay is picking a suitable safe word; choosing something that has no connection to your scene, characters, or acts and can't be confused with anything else is essential. If your fantasies include acts that go against consensual sex, it's wise to pick safe words that are so random they can't be mistaken for part of the script.

                                                              8. Don't skip the aftercare

                                                              And finally, when your fun is complete, and the fantasy is taken care of, it's time to check back into your regular emotional connection. Be sure to pay plenty of attention to each other with hugs, cuddles, affirmations, and the things that make your partner know that they're cared for and not just a toy to be played with.

                                                              And finally, when your fun is complete, and the fantasy is taken care of, it's time to check back into your regular emotional connection.

                                                              Once the heat has subsided, you can unpack what you learned during your play session, what you'd like more of, less of, and the things you'd like to take into your next role-play scenario.

                                                              Roleplay can bring much to a relationship, adding spice and excitement to your existing sex life. If you take things steady, introducing the topic, scenarios, boundaries, limits, safe words, and an aftercare plan, your next-level sex play could open doors to sensations and sessions you hadn't thought possible.

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