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How to Orgasm Together: A Guide to Simultaneous Orgasms

8 min read
How to Orgasm Together: A Guide to Simultaneous Orgasms

Orgasms are considered the pinnacle of sexual pleasure and one of the driving forces for intimacy. Given how good a sexual climax feels, reaching orgasm and helping your partner achieve one can lead to great sex.

When both partners reach orgasm, they often happen in sequence. Typically one partner reaches orgasm first, with the other partner’s orgasm occurring sometime after. However, it’s possible that during sex both partners may experience orgasms simultaneously.

Simultaneous orgasms refer to when sexual partners reach their climax at the same time.

The experience allows them to share the intense pleasure of orgasm together. This article explores simultaneous orgasms and offers tips for increasing your chances of achieving them.

TLDR Summary

  • Simultaneous Orgasms: When both sexual partners climax at the same time, enhancing intimacy.
  • Not Universal: While 90% of men can achieve orgasm during sex, only 50% of women do.
  • Barriers: Male sexual dysfunctions, such as premature ejaculation, can affect timing, and up to 50% of women may not climax during intercourse.
  • Achieving Together: Tips include focusing on foreplay, open communication about desires, understanding partner's anatomy, and introducing sex toys.
  • The Impact: Achieving simultaneous orgasms can increase feelings of closeness, ensure both partners are satisfied, and enhance intimacy skills.
  • The Approach: Patience is key; focusing too much on the goal can hinder the experience.
  • Medical Note: For concerns, always consult a medical professional; this article isn't a replacement for medical advice.

Is it possible for every couple to orgasm together?

The short answer is no, not every couple can reach orgasm at the same time. This is because not everyone is capable of climaxing during sexual intercourse. Research suggests that. while around 90% of men can achieve orgasm during sex, only 50% of females reach orgasm during intercourse.

Research suggests that. while around 90% of men can achieve orgasm during sex, only 50% of females reach orgasm during intercourse.

Certain sexual dysfunctions may affect male climax during sex. Examples include premature ejaculation (PE) and delayed ejaculation. Premature ejaculation involves involuntary ejaculation occurring before an individual is able to enjoy sex. Delayed ejaculation refers to when individuals take longer than they would like to ejaculate or fail to do so. Ejaculatory issues such as those mentioned above may lead to timing difficulty when aiming to achieve simultaneous orgasms.

How likely is it?

The simple answer is that we don’t know. There’s limited research on the number of couples that can achieve simultaneous orgasms. However, the research suggests there are some potential barriers in place when it comes to achieving simultaneous orgasms during intercourse.

Factors that may reduce the likelihood

One of the first issues could be some females' inability to reach orgasm during intercourse (up to 50% according to research in the previous section). Another study found that among 1055 female participants aged 18 to 94, just 18.4% could achieve orgasm from sex alone, while 36.6% stated that clitoral stimulation was also required to achieve orgasm during sex.

 

For men, sexual dysfunctions may affect their ability to have a simultaneous orgasm. One of the most common sexual dysfunctions for men (affecting up to 30% of men worldwide) is premature ejaculation. Ejaculating too early may cause difficulty when trying to time a simultaneous orgasm with a partner.

Tips for Achieving Simultaneous Orgasms

If you’re having difficulty achieving simultaneous orgasms, you’ll be pleased to hear that there are a few techniques you can try that may increase your chances. We’ve listed some tips that may help you have simultaneous orgasms with your partner below:

1. Work on your foreplay

Foreplay may have a more important role in sexual activity than many people realize. One study of students at the University of Kansas found that foreplay is one of the most important parts of sexual encounters for women.

For men who prematurely ejaculate, foreplay can offer their partner more time to enjoy sexual stimulation prior to penetration.

Another study concluded that a greater alignment of masturbation techniques with partnered sex may make females more likely to experience orgasms and increased pleasure. So, introducing female masturbation techniques into foreplay may be worth a shot. For men who prematurely ejaculate, foreplay can offer their partner more time to enjoy sexual stimulation prior to penetration.

2. Talk about what turns you on

Letting your partner know what turns you on may help to increase the pleasure you experience during intercourse. Having sex with someone who knows how to press your buttons may increase your chances of reaching orgasm.

A study that examined 142 couples found that great communication was associated with higher levels of orgasm frequency in women and sexual satisfaction among both sexes. If your partner senses that they are nearing orgasm, by utilizing their knowledge of what turns you on they may be able to bring you to climax at the same time.

3. Understand what turns your partner on

Continuing with the point from our previous section, you need to know what turns your partner on too. This will give you a better chance of having simultaneous orgasms.

If your partner is near to orgasm but not quite there, doing something that you know turns them on might help to trigger their climax.

Also, learn about what turns your partner off. This will help you to make sure that you don’t accidentally do something which could ruin the moment. For example, if you don’t notice your partner is nearing orgasm you may decide to change your rhythm, this could ruin their momentum and stop their orgasm from taking place.

4. Use lube

Lube can help decrease friction experienced during sex and reduce the risk of discomfort or pain during intercourse. Over long periods of sex where you’re waiting for both partners to climax, reducing discomfort may be vital. Some research states that lubrication may be an accessible means to improve sexual well-being.

Lube can help decrease friction experienced during sex and reduce the risk of discomfort or pain during intercourse.

It’s also possible to get flavored lubricants which may encourage foreplay and add to the fun you have during intimacy. Before introducing a lubricant to the bedroom you should ensure that it doesn’t contain any allergens. Water-based lubricants are generally considered one of the safer options and are helpful for those with sensitive skin.

5. Reduce the tension on orgasming together

If you're focusing too much on the outcome (i.e. simultaneous orgasm) and not staying in the moment it's possible that sex could become less enjoyable. This could inadvertently reduce your chance of achieving simultaneous orgasm, despite it being your primary goal.

If you're focusing too much on the outcome and not staying in the moment it's possible that sex could become less enjoyable.

For achieving orgasm together, managing your expectations is key. It may take time and practice, so if you don’t achieve a simultaneous orgasm at first you shouldn’t be disheartened. By adopting a patient approach and putting less pressure on yourself you may find it easier to achieve them.

6. Learn the anatomy of your partner

Like with learning what turns each other on, having an understanding of each other’s anatomy may be helpful for achieving simultaneous orgasms. You may be able to learn which areas are most sensitive and require stimulation for helping your partner reach their climax.

For example, if you find that your partner can only achieve orgasm with clitoral stimulation, you can apply this knowledge to sexual intercourse. Understanding which techniques aren’t compatible with your partner's anatomy may also help you ensure that you don’t do anything that turns them off.

Anatomy of the Vulva

Anatomy of the Vulva Diagram

7. Exercise your pelvic floor

Exercising the pelvic floor muscles can give you improved control over when you ejaculate. Research suggests that focusing on pelvic floor muscles may be highly beneficial for ejaculation control for people with premature ejaculation.

One of the most popular pelvic floor muscle exercise routines is known as Kegels. Developed by Dr. Kegel in 1948, Kegels can be done by imitating the feeling of holding in urine. With enough practice, individuals may be able to hold back their orgasm as they can with urine.

8. Consider introducing sex toys

According to research, vibration of the genitals can help with ED, ejaculation difficulty, and pelvic floor dysfunction. Furthermore, it mentions the positive correlation between using vibrators and sexual arousal as well as sexual function. This suggests that introducing sex toys such as vibrators or vibrating cock rings may increase your chances of simultaneous orgasms.

This suggests that introducing sex toys such as vibrators or vibrating cock rings may increase your chances of simultaneous orgasms.

If you have early ejaculation issues, using a vibrator can help you to stimulate your partner while preventing your own orgasm. For example, when you notice you are close to ejaculating you can withdraw from penetrative intercourse and continue pleasuring your partner with the vibrator. This allows your penile sensitivity to reset while continuing to arouse your partner.

9. Pace yourselves

If you find that you are rushing through intimacy and making simultaneous orgasms your main priority, you may sacrifice some of the intricacies that make sex enjoyable. For example, by rushing through foreplay you may find that intercourse lacks the same build-up, suspense, and eventual release of tension.

If one partner senses that the other is in a hurry, they may feel time pressured and lose the ability to fully relax.

Taking things slowly will allow both partners to get into their groove in their own time. Without any rush, individuals may feel that they have more time to enjoy the moment naturally and experience increased pleasure during sex as a result.

How to Find the Right Edging Tool for You

Why is it a big deal? Benefits of orgasming together

Things often feel better when we share them with others and orgasms are no different. In fact, a study explored simultaneous orgasms achieved through penile-to-vagina intercourse (PVI). It found that simultaneous orgasms achieved through PVI may be associated with a host of benefits including greater life, partnership, and sexual satisfaction. Below we’ve expanded on some of the benefits of simultaneous orgasms.

1. It brings you closer together

By orgasming at the same time as your partner, a euphoric feeling sets in knowing that you and your partner are experiencing the height of sexual stimulation together. As simultaneous orgasms aren’t easy to achieve, they can leave you and your partner with a feeling of accomplishment and connectedness that you may not have experienced with other sexual partners.

2. Both partners are left satisfied

After orgasm and ejaculation, men are usually no longer sexually aroused. This is due to their sexual response cycle; after orgasm, men go into a recovery stage which is known as their refractory period. This can mean it takes hours before they are sexually aroused again. By orgasming simultaneously you can rest easy knowing that both partners have been left satisfied.

3. Levels up your intimacy skills

Unless you’ve stumbled upon simultaneous orgasms, there’s a good chance that both partners have had to learn about each other. This involves what turns one other on, your anatomy, and trigger signs for orgasm. Taking this kind of considerate approach to intimacy is an excellent quality for any relationship and is likely to make you a better lover.

Summary

Simultaneous orgasms are when sexual partners reach their climax at the same time. Although there may be some potential barriers such as ejaculatory issues, there are still plenty of ways to increase your chances of achieving simultaneous orgasms. Techniques may include learning what turns each other on, focusing on foreplay, and even introducing sex toys into the bedroom.

You should always adopt a patient approach when trying for simultaneous orgasms.

Adding too much pressure to have joint orgasms may create tension and make achieving them more difficult. If you or a partner have medical concerns about your orgasms, be sure to consult a doctor. Although the information in this article is intended to be informative it cannot be considered a substitute for professional medical advice.

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