Starting as a beginner at anything is hard, and it's no different when it comes to sex. While it may seem intimidating at first, think of it this way - you're about to experience a lot of mind-blowing sensations for the first time. It's an exhilarating ride, and we're here to help you enjoy yourself.
That's why we've put together a list of the best sex positions for beginners. We'll give you knowledge that will remove your anxieties and hopefully get you excited about having sex.
These positions are guaranteed to help you and your partner enjoy the experience and show you just how fun sex can be.
We recommend trying them all out - sex improves as you discover what positions you enjoy!
For people new to the act, sex can be a scary and confusing process. In the last few years, the conversations about sex have increased, but there's still a lack of openness on this subject.
While the actual figure is hard to pin down, scientists estimate that millions of people are experiencing sex anxiety. This is often brought on by a lack of knowledge, poor portrayals of sex in tv, film, and porn, and an absence of frank discussions about sex. We've all seen how that first time is portrayed in television and movies - a quick and awkward experience played for laughs. Meanwhile, porn has been found to affect self-esteem and create anxiety in guys and girls alike.
No wonder recent studies have reported that people of all ages worldwide are having less sex! If you're one of the millions of beginners feeling insecure or anxious, we're here to help put your mind at ease.
What makes a good beginner sex position?
Here's the thing about beginner sex positions - they're basic but timeless. These six sex positions should be the foundation of any man's sexual repertoire, as they're easy to perform and feel amazing.
With any skill, the idea is always to learn the fundamentals and then progress from there.
With sex, these are the fundamentals. Don't be afraid to change things up once you've experimented with the basics a few times, but when you're new to the act these positions make a great foundation.
These beginner positions will help you and your partner understand what feels best for you both - they feel natural and don't require any crazy kama sutra-style maneuvering, so you don't have to worry about being a gymnast in the bedroom.
There are a lot of factors to consider when deciding on good beginner-friendly sex positions. We've explained them here - any good positions for beginners will integrate all of these.
Sense of Confidence
Being confident in yourself is an essential aspect of sex. Millions of people suffer from sex performance anxiety, and it's perfectly natural for beginners to be nervous.
From a beginner's perspective, a sense of confidence comes from two things: knowledge and experience. The good news is you're reading this article - by the end, we'll have equipped you with all the knowledge you need to feel confident.
Once you've read about our favorite beginner sex positions, you'll understand where this confidence comes from - they're easy.
They're so easy to perform that you do them lying down. With a bit of research, there's no reason you shouldn't feel confident in taking a bit of control in the bedroom, especially armed with our knowledge.
For beginners experiencing sex for the first time, comfort is vital. Sex is not fun if you're uncomfortable, especially for first-timers. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable and shouldn't hurt either participant (unless that's what you want!)
As you get more experienced, you may find that you enjoy a bit of discomfort (that's a kink in itself), but if it's your first foray, you're not going to enjoy contorting like a gymnast into all manner of crazy positions. That's why these positions are perfect for beginners - they're simple and shouldn't have you pulling any muscles.
More than that, however, is that they are the least likely positions to cause any pain or discomfort for either participant. The positions we're recommending are also recommended by doctors to men suffering from back pain and women who suffer from pain during sexual intercourse.
The diversity of these positions allows both parties to take charge, so if you or your partner find a position uncomfortable, switch to another and take it slow.
It's important to note that when we say comfort, we don't just mean physical comfort.
Having sex as a beginner is a mental undertaking as well as a physical. A good beginner sex position should be explained to you well, and you should feel comfortable about performing it.
Understanding the basics and feeling confident and relaxed about the experience will help you and your partner enjoy it more, without any anxiety.
Pleasure is crucial to a good beginner sex position - if you're not having pleasurable sex, then you won't be enjoying yourself, which is a tragedy! Sex is supposed to be fun; it's supposed to be pleasurable - the pleasure sensors in the brain and the thousands of nerve endings in our genitals are a testament to this.
A good beginner position is pleasurable for both participants.
Studies have consistently shown that women are less likely to orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. In a recent study, only 18% of women stated that sex alone was enough for them to orgasm, while 36% reported that they needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm. A further 36% stated that their orgasms were better and more intense if their clitoris was stimulated during sex.
Another study found that women were over twice as likely to orgasm during vaginal intercourse if there was also clitoral stimulation.
Men, meanwhile, almost always orgasm during vaginal intercourse. A 2018 study examining the data of over 50,000 people showed that 95% of heterosexual men orgasm during sex.
That's why the best beginner positions need to incorporate clitoral stimulation - be it an angle change or just easy access for either of you to use your hands.
Understanding your partner's body is essential for both of your pleasures. If you're feeling nervous, communicate with your partner, and you can slowly incorporate clitoral stimulation into the bedroom.
Starting to have sex opens your world to countless realms of pleasure, and if you're having sex without pleasure, you're doing yourself a disservice. These positions were created with pleasure as their purpose - by communicating with your partner while exploring them, you'll soon discover what is most pleasurable for you.
By pleasure, we don't purely mean orgasm (not that they aren't pleasurable), but we mean the entire act of sex.
Orgasm shouldn't be seen as the end goal but as a bonus - the real pleasure is in the whole experience.
If you're going into sex just aiming for a quick orgasm, you're ultimately going to leave your partner dissatisfied, and you're also going to end up missing out on hours of sexual fun.
Although every man is different, on average, a guy's first time is one of the shorter life experiences. It's nothing to worry about and completely normal - a good excuse to go a second round! However, this can generate some anxiety when you're starting out. Studies have shown that worries about sexual performance affect anywhere from 9-25% of the male population, and short sexual experiences can quickly make a man feel insecure.
These insecurities are usually misguided and partly stem from a beginner's lack of knowledge about how long a sexual experience should last. Studies state that, on average, a man takes between 5-7 minutes before reaching orgasm, while women take almost double that.
These particular positions are brilliant at helping men last longer than average. If you're struggling to delay your climax, these beginner positions will do it for you, helping lessen some of that sexual anxiety and making you more confident in the bedroom.
When we talk about stamina, we mean both sexual and physical. Even for the fitter of us out there, if you've never done it before, you might not realize how physically demanding sex can be.
Sex is essentially a full-body workout for both of you; depending on the positioning, it can be exhausting!
These beginner positions are low intensity, so regardless of your fitness, you can make your sexual exploits last as long as you want - even if you're struggling to actually last that long.
Power dynamics are important during sexual intercourse. The question of 'who is in charge' can really shape a sexual experience - you might like to be in control, or maybe you prefer to take a backseat and have your partner tell you what to do. Either way, you'll never know what does and doesn't work for you without playing with these specific power dynamics.
With these beginner positions, both of you are in charge, allowing either or both of you to take control should you want to. Being able to switch up who is in control at any given point helps you both to understand what turns you on.
Having equal control during those beginning sexual experiences is important as it will help develop a strong sexual relationship between you and your partner.
Sex is a two-way street; if you and your partner have just started sleeping together, sharing an equal amount of control will ensure you both feel comfortable and relaxed.
This is true for all sexual positions, not just beginners - they require communication. Communicating your needs will strengthen your sexual relationship, leading to greater sexual satisfaction overall.
The connection between communication and sexual satisfaction has been well documented over the last 30 years, with many sex therapists and scientists noting the positive relationship between both.
A recent analysis of 38,499 people in relationships (the largest sample size to date) found a strong positive correlation between sexual communication and both relationship and sexual satisfaction. Being able to ask questions and talk openly during sex is the key to having even more incredible sexual experiences.
Talking to your sexual partner and finding out what works best for them, what sort of sex they like, and what turn-offs they have will open the door for you to do the same.
There's no point in having sex and not communicating, as you'll both end up having a bad time.
Learning to communicate is crucial if you want to have fulfilling, enjoyable sex. While it is possible to have non-communicative sex, it's always better when you share with your partner - no matter how awkward it initially is.
Explore the World of sexual intimacy and relationship with your partner
Start your journey to a more fulfilling connection with these informative reads.:
- How to Increase your Sexual Stamina: 10 Tips to Last Longer In Bed
- How to Make Sex More Fun: 12 Tips to Spice Up Sex
- How to Improve Sexual Performance After 50: Best 12 Proven Tips
- What is Maintenance Sex? 7 Tips to Improve Married Sex
- How long is Too Long Without Sex In a Relationship
- The Ultimate Guide to Fingering a Woman: 11 Tips from our Sex Experts
- 19 Best Foreplay Tips and Ideas for Men
- How to Achieve Orgasm Together: A Guide to Simultaneous Orgasms
1. The MissionaryHow to: Your partner lies on their back, and you lie facedown on top of them, supporting yourself with your arms. Your partner spreads their leg slightly, and you enter them from your position.
The missionary position is possibly the most famous sexual position ever. Man on top, woman on the bottom, a true classic - it's simple to perform, easy to master, and perfect for beginners.
Missionary is an up-close and intimate position that lets you control the power and depth of penetration while your partner can move their legs and hips to change the sensation, and they can use their hands for other fun things.
Skin-to-skin and eye contact fosters intimacy between couples and is also great for building connections with new partners. In this position, you can kiss your partner or whisper sensuously in their ear.
Missionary is a very versatile position and can be easily switched up.
If your partner finds lying on their back pain, you can always put two pillows beneath them to raise them up slightly. This changes the angle of penetration and the feeling for both of you.
2. The Spoon
How to: You and your partner lie on your sides next to each other with your bodies pressed up against one another, facing the same direction. The person at the front is the little spoon, and at the back is the big spoon. The little spoon should bend its knees slightly, and from this position, the big spoon penetrates the little spoon from behind.
The spooning position is one of the most simple sexual positions to perform, with one of the greatest potentials for orgasms. The spooning position can stimulate a woman's clitoris, which will help your partner reach orgasm.
Both partners have control over the angle and depth of penetration, and you can kiss your partner's shoulders or reach around to touch them elsewhere.
This position is beneficial to your sexual and physical stamina - it's comfortable yet exhilarating, incredibly easy to perform, and requires a slow pace which will help you last longer.
3. The Flatiron
How to: Your partner lies flat on their stomach with their legs straight and their hips slightly raised. You then lie on top of them with your legs on the inside of theirs and using your arms to support your body, you enter them from the back.
There's no need for acrobatics in this position - it's easy to perform and very pleasurable. If you're entering your partner from behind, penetration is deeper and feels more intense - this is where the flatiron position excels.
For beginners, this is a good introduction to deeper sex; you and your partner should take it slow and communicate with each other to ensure there's no discomfort. It also grants both of you some control, as your partner can control the depth by moving their hips, and you can control the pace from behind.
There's no need for acrobatics in this position - it's easy to perform and very pleasurable.
If your partner moves their legs closer together, it will make their vagina feel tighter, changing the sensation for both of you. Your partner is also in an excellent position to stimulate their clitoris.
The flatiron requires full-body contact, which fosters intimacy between the two of you and is also a turn-on for some. It's also possible to play with the power dynamic in this position as the man is on top - if your partner wants, you can take complete control.
4. The Modified Cowgirl
How to: Lie flat on your back with your partner lying face to face on top of you with their legs straight. They position themselves onto your penis and control any penetration.
The modified cowgirl gives a lot of control to your partner. They're in charge of the penetration, angle, and movement or pace.
You do have some control in that you can move your hips to thrust, but your partner will be responsible for most of it. If you and your partner are feeling discomfort in other positions, modified cowgirl could be the winner - there's not much thrusting, so your partner isn't likely to feel pain.
Being on the bottom puts a lot less stress on your body, and if you wanted to, you could give complete control to your partner. Beginners will love this position as it's relaxing and gives both partners a lot of stimulation. For a man, this is a position in which you can relax and focus entirely on the sensations of pleasure. Not having to move will allow you to get out of your head and completely immerse yourself in the act.
It feels good to switch up who is on top when you're having sex - it completely changes the sensation, and (if your partner wants to) it can slow things down, helping you to last longer.
Your partner can adjust the modified cowgirl too: to switch up the feeling, she can move her thighs, or instead of lying flat, she can rest on her knees.
5. The Modified Doggy Style
How To: Your partner gets on their hands and knees, then lean forward till they're almost flat on the bed. With their back arched and their backside raised, you lie on top of them and penetrate them from behind.
Modified doggy style is like regular doggy but with some key differences that change the feeling. Think of it as a sort of fallen doggy style - you can lie on your partner or support yourself with your arms.
This position is excellent for people with smaller penises, as penetration from the back is deep and intense.
If your partner is feeling lazy, they can let you do all the work, but if not, they can rock their hips to control depth and sensation. The skin-to-skin contact of this position is intimate, and the positioning also lets you whisper in your partner's ear or use your hands on them.
Try putting a pillow under your partner's hips if they feel uncomfortable. It will lessen any strain on their body and also change the angle of penetration, intensifying the sensation for you both.
6. Legs Up
How to: Get into the missionary position and swing your partner's legs over your shoulders. Their legs can either go straight up or rest on your shoulders for added comfort.
A twist on the missionary position, legs up is a great first foray into those more flexible positions. It's a perfect beginner's position as it requires a little flexibility but should be easily achievable by most people. As it only requires a slight movement from a missionary, it's a non-intimidating position that has the potential to blow both your minds.
You're in control of the deep thrusts, the pace, and the angle, but your partner can squeeze their thighs to create heightened sensations for both of you.
Legs up give deep penetration, and there's also greater clitoral stimulation in this position - so more pleasure for your partner.
You can always place a pillow under your partner's backside to change the angle and sensation.
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Explore an expert-curated list of articles featuring the top sex positions for couples:
People starting their sex life will enjoy these easy and comfortable sex positions. They're mutually enjoyable and give both participants the power to control the experience.
All of these positions are versatile and can be altered as you get more experience, but they make an excellent starting point for beginners.
Confidence during sex comes from knowledge and experience. Now that we've armed you with an understanding of the best sex positions for beginners, you can impress your partner and start gaining that experience. But don't forget to communicate! Talking to your partner will make sex so much better for you both.
If you have just started sleeping together and you're worried that your partner hasn't achieved orgasm yet, it's helpful to know that often it just takes time.
A study on college hookups and relationships noted that women are 40% more likely to orgasm after having sex 3-5 times with the same partner. After six times, the likelihood of orgasm is double what it was at first.
So don't worry. Take your time, follow our advice, and you'll soon be having amazing sex!
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